Don't submit to debt... anything else is fine.

The money you save with us can benefit a truly noble cause...

Like paying law school for "Sparkles" up there. The perks are, if she goes into divorce law, she already has your retainer.

tour


[The] Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over." - Hunter S. Thompson

social media ad, series 10

Random ad, 2018 series.


This is another ad that didn't make the cut. For obvious reasons. First of all the dimensions are off. The women look the same but the seals are different sizes. Worse yet, they weren't vector. Then we have the wording. Sounded too sexual. And of course the type color was too light. Call me a perfectionist, but I couldn't in good conscious run this ad.

I see debt people...

Our mock ups, push ads, social media ads, viewer submitted suggestions and stuff we never really went with. A recurring theme for us in development is usually "how far can we push ourselves to the edge without losing message?" Here we parodied the oft repeated phrase and replaced "dead" with "debt". Debt And death is kind of the same anyway. For educational purposes.

Roll out the censorship

Peter Griffin, the iconic moronic character that propelled the show to infamy and broke what was left of decency in cartoons. This was created from a clip of the hilariously funny rendition of the FCC song. We support net neutrality and  figuered it was good enough to use for our purposes. We don't own the copyright but used it under fair use to educational purposes.

Wanna pull my pork?

This one came about for Christmas 2015. When Cubans share a magical moment of bonding over a home roasted suckling pig. Pork to a Cuban is as holy as boxing, baseball, vulgar jokes and asses (we'll get to asses, don't worry). We took it further, but technically we can't offend anyone here. Pork is pulled. We never used it, so pork porn never took off.

Schwartz measuring

Who doesn't remember Yogurt? Yogurt the wise, yogurt the powerful... or as he'd put it. "Just plain yogurt". Space Balls the movie and bong hits go hand in hand, and the all powerful Schwartz, that's a force to be reckoned with. My older brother always suggests tame versions of what I usually end up going with. I wanted a photo of our accountant (she's Jewish) and some rib about the Shwartz. He talked me out of it. So We parodied this under fair use.

The famous mambo "Tequila"

Beer and tequila: getting fat girls laid for years. (Watch the feminists send me letters now), We found this stock photo online and had to do this, I mean it could be true. We aren't regretted by our clients, so you know...

Relax, buddy

This man has enough on his plate. We advocate consumer rights, but we also provide a service to those who want it done for them. In this case, the photo worked well. Stock photo used here. Late 2016

No witch doctor needed

This one is just one of this things... I can't explain it. Voodoo, hoodoo, whatever. Nothing new to islanders. I was talking with a friend and this came to me. As in, save the chickens from ritualistic sacrifice, we get results without the hokus pokus.

Someone sent me the image.

Flavor of the month

Flavor Flav!!!!! This guy is the answer to "too much bling a bad thing?". That's his mom in that photo. We went with it to highlight how we work with retired people (fixed income). In truth we wanted to use a Flav photo, and this was a bonus, plus she's such a cute old woman. Anyway, Flav, don't sue us an make us say "aweeeeeeeee".

Take it off baby!

Take it off, take it all off! All those wrong accounts damit... And that bra too. Look, at last a stock photo that matches our business. Haters will note we have the balls you don't and still beat your pricing. Late 2017.

A donkey & 2 midgets, oy vey!

Ahhh, making it rain. This one is a part of a series we titled "the donkey gets the girl" (don't ask), anyway, we went with this one for about 10 minutes before I was stopped because it says "midgets", and that's not the word to use. Little people really hate being called midgets, and the last thing we wanted is get their ire going. A pissed off midget, that's a hazard.

Poet Laureate & Ass Kicker Supreme; Patton

The General, prima donna, king of brass ballery and poet (tremendous verse), embodies the romanticism of our ethics. A warrior poet, and also charmingly, eloquently, vulgar. But sometimes, you need to be, to slap people out of apathy and all that bullshit. Besides we will go through competition like shit through a goose. Isn't this plainly obvious?

Gold diggers come in "Gay"

Gold diggers, they are out there, men, women, straight, gay, bi, whatever the case may be. Now this guy is a model, so we don't know if it's really "Lance". It could also be "Rodney", "Bruno", "Rocco" you know, all the cool names. The whole cocaine and Viagra may touch a nerve, but then, let's be honest. Older guy, younger party boy, yada, yada, you know someone is gonna take a whack of something. I've put this up on Gay social media, so far so good. Early 2018

Diabetes anyone?

Another gay themed Gold digger push, this time focus in on diabetes and how good credit helps finance the party, which in this case just so happens to be the built guy in the leather harness (you can see where this one is going right? I'll end up in court sooner or later). Anyway, also fabulously gay man approved. I can't post this without some dude asking me who it is, and if it's me.

She totally got hers done!

Kiara Mia, voluptuous and done up porn star with some of the widest stretchmarks on earth (Sorry doll). I personally don't think its bad, but you know Photoshop could have been used. I could have made her look like a young princess Lea, but I don't own the rights to it. Never run, early 2018 mock up. Deemed too much, by my crew. She's hot though.

Voluptuous is back! Eat that steak sandwich.

Bridgette B, before she went and got all skinny and ugly. Here she looks great, despite her pouch (or maybe because of it). Anyway, this is part of the above 4 part campaign which I just abandoned. I don't own the stock, Larry "balls of steel" Flynt, does. Fair use Larry, parodial.

We put the ass, in class... someone had too

Ok, maybe she did. This woman is off the chain. Wild. Anyway, part of the 4 part campaign idea. All these women have massive implants done, Kiara has an ass like a baboons. So right, this one may work, but not as a push ad. Where did you get yours done? Credit Repair, dummy.

Patriotic to the core

Habitual line crossers? Nahhhh. This is the 4 of 4, look at the size of the patriotism here. Anyway, Americans are a flag happy people, so tho one is perfect. I don't know the model, can't find her name. And the photo has nothing stating whose copyright I'd have to buy a license for. Anyway, I like the idea, most asked, do as well. Early 2018.

Conventional businessman... me?

There's something about a motorcycle that says AMERICANA. I've had the friends that did the Sturgis runs, I get it. Anyway, I'm not into bikes, I like cars more. 1967 Chevy SS, now that's a car. Anyway, just another unconventional push here. The model looks nice, the bike is a "brassed balled Bobber", custom bike. Harley Davidson... America baby. Now fix that oil drip issue. Early 2018.

Brass balls

Great bike, really great model. Between both, I'll take the bike, sell it, get 4 blondes (example of economics) anyway, part of the series. Early 2018. I censored the parts out for the Google listing, don't want to offend some powder puff.

Watch the feminists flip out

Spank it like you own it... the credit, not the chick. We are aggressively running this ad. Since we don't seem to cause much of a ripple, I figured this was a safe way to go. She isn't naked, which is, a damn shame. Early 2018.

Choose your own misery... with great credit

I had this idea for some time, the guy looks a tad uncomfortable in the tux, and all too civilized. Eurotrash stock photo company, charge an arm and a leg (bastards, that's why I won't advertise you) late 2017 push. Most people like that little phrase, which is kind of true. Great girls, tasty brandy. I'd rock that cigar.

Naughty Credit?

Spank it like you own it... the credit, not the chick. We are aggressively running this ad. Since we don't seem to cause much of a ripple, I figured this was a safe way to go. She isn't naked, which is, a damn shame. Early 2018.

Submit to your desires

This is how you know Dov Charney got a raw deal. He created American Apparel, and built it to the stratosphere, then got booted for running racy campaign ads featuring porn stars and such. We make his ads look like they belong in Family Magazine. Sex sells and in our case, so does having the balls to say what you believe. Mock up 2018

Fifty shades...

A shitty book, written by a shitty author grossing over $50 million dollars worldwide is proof: we are all perverted bastards. Here is our own version of fifty shades, whip that credit into shape and call us master. Mock up, not run. Early 2018

Meet Edna

This photo makes me want to go her a hug. Old people are cool. If Frank's red hot sauce has the old lady that says "I put that shit on everything", we can do it too. Love It. Mock up, ready to go. Early 2018

Humorous truths...

In every business there will be liars, cheats, scoundrels and all American assholes. This is par for the course. We don't tell lies, we like to see it as telling humorous truths about boring liars. Anyway, this is a mock up idea. We need to buy the stock. Not run. Early 2018

Eurotrash superstar pimping love machine? Or just plain ol' Dimitri?

This one makes me wonder. It is a total mock up and I don't know if I should buy the stock. I'll take suggestions and go from there. Tighty whitie guy rocks the sexiness eh? Early 2018

Dude, relax

Primal screams... part of everyday life at Amazon corporate. It can help relieve stress and scare new employees. This is a different type of scream. The frustrated scream. We've been here plenty. Relax. Tao a deep breath and call us up. We may be able to help. Not run, debating. Client suggestion. Late 2017

Close
Shopping Cart
Your Cart is Empty