Can't get a date? Call girls take credit.

Yes folks, we said it. Don't act surprised.


Ads & Posts that didn't make the cut from 2020

1 (800) 123-1234

Tried to use something like this long ago. Still isn't allowed.

Take it off! Take it all off!!!!

We didn't even try to run this one.

It would get flagged. No shit.

Old school guys use Zig-Zag, just sayin'.

This one we designed for in-house fun.

We use cats in our ads because we love cats. Sneaky, funny fuckers that they are and are likely to remain.

Ads & Posts that didn't make the cut from 2017-2019

1 (800) 123-1234

Narcs. I tell ya' we're surrounded by narcs.

This one got rejected so fast we hardly had time to react. Apparently any time we try to go tame it doesn't work. The model is happy, just look at her! Actually, we are all a bit happier having looked...

Rejected by the censors because it does not contribute to a pleasant experience?

What the hell?!

While we stand behind our pledge that all our vulgarity is wholly tuitous and intrinsic to our advocacy, this post actually got rejected. What the fuck?! Come on now. It isn't like it's a lie or anything. We feel very strong for those who pay more and get less. Anyway, let's be honest here. Someone would have ratted it out had it gotten through. We're surrounded by narcs.

We try to play it bland and still can't catch a break sometimes.

A bad trip? The censors didn't like it. Apparently tripping with the whole Amanita shroom is enough to offend some candy ass somewhere, so we couldn't use this to explain the trippy type of website we offer.

Rejected by Google. Say What??!

The bots that crawl all posts on Google rejected this fine informative post. Heavens to Betsy! Technically we knew it would happen, but considering the crazy shit they ALLOW us to run, this isn't so bad. So we put it here for posterity. Enjoy.

A Chick in a g-string holding an hourglass... in Europe they'd call this art.

Another rejected post. Come on now. This one isn't even that bad. Still, the auto censors wouldn't have it. So naturally we wanted it included.

This one could be sort of read wrong...

I like cats. I like dogs. I like animals in general. It stands to reason that sometimes animals get angry. I don't get it. Anyway, rejected by the censors. Does it have anything to do with Credit Repair? probably not verging on no way in hell. Again, so what?

Again our artistic vision was impeaded by the censors. Again we ask "why?", to no avail.

It isn't a pièce de résistance, but then what is?

Dov Charney got a raw deal. We actually make him look like a Vienna choirboy

Dov Charney, the founder and genius that created American Apparel was accused of running slightly pornographic ads and other gratuitous uses of sexuality in his campaigns. Nonsense and poppycock! Balderdash we say. We make the man look like a choirboy. We proudly stand behind what we say, and all our vulgarity is wholly tuitous and never gratuitous.

This one went a bit too far. After all, "bargains" you pick up on corners are usually paid with cash.

Someone objected to this post, still it is relevant. You don't have to melt a credit card on us and you never get a half and half. So there.

This is actually tame, and it actually got rejected...

Alright let me make sure I understand this.

Aliens, pigs in heat, whips & chains, strippers, call girls, copious amounts of marijuana, drag queens, gold diggers, a guy chocking a chicken, garters, porn models, stacks of hundreds, a cock ring, tarot cards, a donkey, assorted pigs, assorted farm animals, President Donald Trump taking no prisoners, a voodoo doll, a bunch of dancing priests, a running sausage on fire, a dominatrix and over 1,000 references to madness and mayhem is fine, but two people kissing is bad. Got it.

Again, rejected. What a crock of shit.

Some people are way too uptight. Some narc ratted this one out.

This one wasn't let in either. Makes no sense to us why it would be deemed "unpleasant" to some viewers.

Florida: Wicked sun, gators and plenty of bloodsucking mosquitos.

We thought it would be cute to run a non-profane post. I guess we were wrong.

Zombies is a big business, apparently, galactic nympho stripper aliens are not.

Go figure.

Created this one after binge watching The Walking Dead. I thought it was funny. Google however, did not.

Buddy Bunny... not a hit with the censors

Our attempt to integrate cartoons into the advertising of the company hasn't fared too well. Here we have our bunny friend, helpfully letting all know how to avoid the bullshit. No dice, says the censors.

We didn't even try to run this one.

Why bother?

Sigh... brilliance is either an act of inspiration or an act of imagination. With us, it just comes natural. Wanted to run it and didn't even try. What would be the point of getting it flagged? Here it is. And yeah, yeah, yeah, now you look!

Ads & Posts that we couldn't use from 2017-2018

1 (800) 123-1234

The seals are wrong!

This is another ad that didn't make the cut. For obvious reasons. First of all the dimensions are off. The women look the same but the seals are different sizes. Worse yet, they weren't vector. Then we have the wording. Sounded too sexual. And of course, the type color was too light. Call me a perfectionist, but I couldn't in good conscious run this ad.

Take it off baby!

Take it off, take it all off! All those wrong accounts damit... And that bra too. Look, at last a stock photo that matches our business. Haters will note we have the balls you don't and still beat your pricing. Late 2017.

Idle hands are the devils... ah, nevermind

Before we go and offend anyone, no actual chickens were harmed during this ad. Figuratively speaking, any other chicken choking is not our concern. We suggest idle hands to be put to work on better... okay, maybe slightly better things, like perusing our website.

social media ad, series 2

Active ad, 2018 series.

This particular ad was inspired by ETrade's "Don't Get Mad" Campaign. Again, we used the gold in the photo to highlight the whole Gold Digger thing and followed up with the yellow tint. The only thing missing is a toy mini poodle.

Venturing into the more bizarre...

These are apparently shakers. I personally prefer things that prevent someone from choking at the dinner table, but to tell the truth, I would buy them (If i could find them. If I do, I'll post a link here). My question is what do they look like separated? The pigs faces are priceless, kind of like we are.

Donkey show worthy? Oh hell yes. Not run, 2018.

Free vision test!

This idea came to me while I was at the optometrist and I had to read the chart. Admittedly it isn't to scale with an actual chart, but I still think it works. Late 2017

Wanna pull my pork?

This one came about for Christmas 2015. When Cubans share a magical moment of bonding over a home roasted suckling pig. Pork to a Cuban is as holy as boxing, baseball, vulgar jokes and asses (we'll get to asses, don't worry). We took it further, but technically we can't offend anyone here. Pork is pulled. We never used it, so pork porn never took off.

Do it yourself... or pay a service

We take advocacy seriously, perhaps a bit too serious. Here is something even we can't imagine, or want to. Nevertheless, the message is quite clear. Do it yourself or pay a service. Currently running on Google 2018

What a cute pig. I almost feel bad I eat pork. Almost.

Inspired by our language, we purposely went out here on a limb with this one. remember, we are foul mouthed, but we don't lie.

Wrong Marquise de Sade!

This one was another product of twisted humor. We cant use it because it's not the right marquise! This is the father of the libertarian author and madman. Although we are sure the de Sade we wanted got it from somewhere (maybe), we can't use this one. Note the wording, priceless.

The famous mambo "Tequila"

Beer and tequila: getting fat girls laid for years. (Watch the feminists send me letters now), We found this stock photo online and had to do this, I mean it could be true. We aren't regretted by our clients, so you know...

Relax, buddy

This man has enough on his plate. We advocate consumer rights, but we also provide a service to those who want it done for them. In this case, the photo worked well. Stock photo used here. Late 2016

Milkduds anyone?

We never went with this one because while it may be true for our interns that put these things together, it is not true for our work ethic. When we work we drink Coke mixed with grapefruit juice and there is no debauchery, well, minimal debauchery.

What the foca?!

For those of you who don't speak Spanish, a foca is a seal. It just sounds very familiar to a, well, you know. anyway, this little push makes a nice statement without going overboard. I mean we go overboard anyway, but this was a nice touch.

No witch doctor needed

This one is just one of this things... I can't explain it. Voodoo, hoodoo, whatever. Nothing new to islanders. I was talking with a friend and this came to me. As in, save the chickens from ritualistic sacrifice, we get results without the hokus pokus.

Someone sent me the image.

Not everything is gratuitous nudity

This is a pretty tame push, by our standards. But it does make a point. 2018 concept.

Vox Populi, Vox Dei... mother#@$%&*s.

Unconventional, us? Nah.

Gold diggers come in "Gay"

Gold diggers, they are out there, men, women, straight, gay, bi, whatever the case may be. Now this guy is a model, so we don't know if it's really "Lance". It could also be "Rodney", "Bruno", "Rocco" you know, all the cool names. The whole cocaine and Viagra may touch a nerve, but then, let's be honest. Older guy, younger party boy, yada, yada, you know someone is gonna take a whack of something. I've put this up on Gay social media, so far so good. Early 2018

Conventional businessman... me?

There's something about a motorcycle that says AMERICANA. I've had the friends that did the Sturgis runs, I get it. Anyway, I'm not into bikes, I like cars more. 1967 Chevy SS, now that's a car. Anyway, just another unconventional push here. The model looks nice, the bike is a "brassed balled Bobber", custom bike. Harley Davidson... America baby. Now fix that oil drip issue. Early 2018.

Brass balls

Great bike, really great model. Between both, I'll take the bike, sell it, get 4 blondes (example of economics) anyway, part of the series. Early 2018. I censored the parts out for the Google listing, don't want to offend some powder puff.

Meet Gus and Jake. Which do you think is a client?

Things penguins say...maybe. The title says it all.

Choose your own misery... with great credit

I had this idea for some time, the guy looks a tad uncomfortable in the tux, and all too civilized. Eurotrash stock photo company, charge an arm and a leg (bastards, that's why I won't advertise you) late 2017 push. Most people like that little phrase, which is kind of true. Great girls, tasty brandy. I'd rock that cigar.

Watch the feminists flip out

Spank it like you own it... the credit, not the chick. We are aggressively running this ad. Since we don't seem to cause much of a ripple, I figured this was a safe way to go. She isn't naked, which is, a damn shame. Early 2018.

Why be normal?

Here we go, getting the party started early. I must tell you guys, that the 600 visits on average we get monthly don't all come to these pages, they go to the actual advocacy pages. Yet we like doing these types of things. Grey Goose, a sparkler, a fine woman in unmentionables, the only thing missing was an American flag.

Naughty Credit?

Spank it like you own it... the credit, not the chick. We are aggressively running this ad. Since we don't seem to cause much of a ripple, I figured this was a safe way to go. She isn't naked, which is, a damn shame. Early 2018.

Meet Edna

This photo makes me want to go her a hug. Old people are cool. If Frank's red hot sauce has the old lady that says "I put that shit on everything", we can do it too. Love It. Mock up, ready to go. Early 2018

Humorous truths...

In every business there will be liars, cheats, scoundrels and all American assholes. This is par for the course. We don't tell lies, we like to see it as telling humorous truths about boring liars. Anyway, this is a mock up idea. We need to buy the stock. Not run. Early 2018

Stimulating visuals

We tested this one on the ladies in the office. Oddly enough they didn't read a single word on the page. Wonder what could have distracted them? Running this one currently. Early 2018.

What is it about us that people find so refreshing?

We stand by our professionalism and our pledge to service. Indeed we go to extremes so our clients don't have to, and in the end this is what matters. 2018.

We were founded by that one guy who stands out...

Being different is always a good thing, no matter how nutty it seems at times. This one illustrates our unconventional approach to everything. Conversely speaking it has served us well. Late 2017.

Please call us for a free quote

Our marketing materials make one thing abundantly clear:

We don't pull punches, hold back or bullshit anyone.

We really aren't your average f#@king non profit.

Seen us around town? Our brochures are much more than marketing materials. We run full campaigns and parodies that make a humorous statement about credit and financial institutions, lending practices and social issues or lack thereof.
Some are corporate, some are parodies and some are, well, a bit beyond tongue in cheek. We provide them to our partners for free. Guaranteed to amuse, enlighten and maybe offend (oh well). They can be found at car dealerships, real estate and mortgage offices and everything in between.

Our parodies get great results. Nothing says don't tread on me like slamming major credit card companies, lending institutions and deceptive and misleading business practices. The truth is, we enjoy them. We enjoy designing them and we enjoy watching them disappear. If you have a good idea drop us a line and we may just put it on paper. Each run consists of about 2,000 so chances are good you'll have them available. We've said before and will say it again; Proudly pissing off collection agencies and our competitors since 2014. Told you we were different.